A Letter for Alli. 

KC leaves a note on top of Alli’s desk before leaving to the hospital.

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I shouldn’t care, and I don’t. 

The One That Got Away || Katie. 

writtenbykatie:

“You’re sorry?” Katie asked, a look of shock still painted on her face. “You’re serious right now? You come to my house, break up with me, blame everything on me, and then you tell me that you’re sorry? I don’t understand what’s gotten into you lately, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.” It was as if KC’s words didn’t really hit Katie until she finished speaking, and suddenly, she was overcome with emotions, fighting the urge to cry, and worse, to show weakness in front of KC. He seemed so distant, so cold, and the last thing Katie wanted to do right now was to give him the satisfaction of knowing that this words were effecting her - getting to her and truly breaking her down right in front of him.

Suddenly, KC took his apology back, and although Katie couldn’t help but to find his whole display to be entirely childish and immature, it still hurt to hear. However, she figured the worst was over with, and if she managed to stay slightly composed during the hard part, she could deal with whatever KC had to say next. The truth was, however, that Katie couldn’t have been more wrong. KC’s words hit her like a ton of bricks. it was if the wind had literally been knocked out of her, her facial expression completely blank except for the slightly quivering of her lip, ready to break down at any second. He was wrong. She loved him, she would do anything for him, and he knew that. He had to know that. Getting to where they were right now took time and patience and so much hard work, but they did it and their relationship was so strong because of it. Not a day went by where Katie thought of what it would be like to be with Owen again. Owen was a part of her past, and KC was her present, and more importantly her future. She didn’t know if someone had put those ideas into KC’s head, but it killed her to know that after everything, he still believed she would be capable of deliberately hurting him.

And just like that, whatever self control Katie had been trying so hard to maintain went out the window, and she completely broke. Tears streamed down her cheeks freely, as she tried her best to quickly wipe them away, knowing the whole time that it was of no use. “I don’t understand what happened,” she said through her tears. “None of that’s true. I would never do that to you…”

KC stood in front of Katie, studying her every move as she continued to break down more and more right in front of his eyes. There was a piece of him that was pushing him into giving in the way that he always had. There was still a side of him that was triggered to do the ‘right thing’ whenever he’d seen Katie this upset. But that misfortunately familiar eerie wave of carelessness washed over those emotions right at that instant, disregarding every urge in him that wanted to make things better for the both of them. 

And so he stood there, still watching as the tears streamed down her face. Even then, he couldn’t bring himself forth in caring. That’s when he knew that he was losing it. When there was not a single thing that could make him care. Not even seeing the girl that he was in love with breaking down right before his eyes because of him. Afraid of what he’d do next, he backed away slowly and continued to watch her, only feeling more and more lost and hollow with each passing moment. “I, um, I should go..” The amount of emotion evident in his voice matched the amount of emotion left inside him. No tint of a single emotion was heard. 

Not bothering to pull her in for a hug, or make even the slightest attempt at comforting her, he turned and headed back home, only nonchalantly saying, “Bye Katie.” before turning to leave. This was the moment that’d proved to him that he was not okay. He knew he needed help and he needed it fast. 

The One That Got Away || Katie. 

writtenbykatie:

Katie almost prided herself on knowing KC better than anybody else. She figured it just came with the territory of being so close to him for so long. Friends turned best friends turned lovers? It seemed like such a juvenile word to use to describe them, but maybe it was the best one. After all, Katie was positive that after everything they had been through together that she most certainly loved KC. In fact, she probably always had. She wanted to do whatever she could for him, whenever he needed her. Really, it was just her nature to look out for the people in her life - to be their friend, and possibly even their girlfriend, but to also protect them, help them, and in so many cases, become their therapist. She was more than willing to do the same for KC, quickly noticing how different he had been acting lately.

The KC that she was dating now was most definitely not the same KC that she had been with when they first met. He was cold, bitter, constantly pushing people away. It sounded harsh when she thought about it, but he was absolutely miserable, and there was no denying that. Well, no denying it to herself, at least. KC, on the other seemed, seemed perfectly content acting as if nothing was wrong even though all signs of presences had been dropped so long ago. The problem was that KC wouldn’t let anyone in, not even Katie, and Katie wasn’t used to that kind of rejection. With Drew, things had been easy because he was so willing to let her help. And Owen, for all of his hard-headedness and need to be independent, was never shy with opening up to Katie. KC had once been like that, but things were so different now and despite her best attempts, KC remained off on his own, suffering with whatever it was that was on his mind all alone.

Even though his texts to her had been harsh, and quite frankly, more than a little rude, Katie was still excited that he was coming. Maybe things would be different this time. Maybe he was finally ready to open up. And even if he wasn’t, maybe just spending some time alone together would help him out a little bit. Katie was fully prepared to do whatever it took to make KC happy again.

She opened the front door, a smile playing on her lips when she saw KC standing in front of her. But that smile quickly faded when she heard KC’s first words. “I can’t do this anymore.” It took Katie a moment to process what he was saying - to really let the words sink in. “I’m just not in love with you anymore.” If Katie wasn’t’ so shocked, she probably would have started to cry right then and there. Instead, a confused expression twisted its way onto her face and she looked KC over. “You… You’re… You’re what…?” is all she could manage to say.

“I’m breaking up with you,” he looked up at her, his face as expressionless and bereft of emotion as before, “It was all for nothing. Dealing with your bullshit, being second best, doing everything I possibly could to ensure that you were mine, arguing with Owen, settling with being just your ‘best friend’—everything. Everything was bullshit and I was too blind to see it. I’m sorry.” 

He noticed that he’d been growing more and more vulnerable with each word that he spoke, which was not okay with him by any means. He reminded himself that he was to act just as hollow as he felt on the inside. “Actually, I’m not sorry. I have nothing to apologize for. You’re the one who put me through everything. You sucked the emotion right out of me, stripped me of my self-worth and dignity. You fucked me up, Katie. Really, really, really badly. I’ve tried to pick up after the mess that you made and I just can’t do it anymore. I’m sick and tired. I’m sick and tired of you, actually. I’m sick and tired of doing all that I can to please you just so I can feel like more shit when you leave me for Owen again. I’m not letting that happen this time. I’m not losing to him anymore. You can stand there and tell me that you’ve disposed of all of your feelings for him, and I’ll just stand here and tell you how much bullshit that is. We can do this all night if you’d like to.” 

This was usually the part where he’d give in and pull her in for a tight hug, wasting all of his efforts in making sure that she’d be okay. But things were different this time around. Instead, he stood there, nonchalantly watching as she broke down in front of him, and deep inside, he wanted to continue tearing her down, but couldn’t do it. He wanted her to feel just as terribly as she’d unintentionally—and at some points, intentionally—made him feel these past few months. 

The One That Got Away || Katie. 

There was no hiding the obvious contrast in moods that he’d been experiencing lately. The only thing that was nearly as evident as how different he’d been acting was how he’d been alienating himself from the one person that’d meant most to him — Katie Matlin. He knew, but could not admit that there was obvious hostility between the two and that their once picture-perfect relationship was doomed to end soon. Both his lack of emotion and carelessness worked in unison in leading him to believing that it’d been best for him to just end things as soon as he possibly could.

Pulling on a basic sweatshirt, he made his way out into the cold, bitter Toronto streets and began walking over to the Matlin household. There was an eerie similarity in his mood and the weather. Both were cold. Not the kind of cold that made you want to search for a comforting heat. They were the kind of cold that you’d have to learn to accept. The kind that wouldn’t leave, regardless of the constant attempts to made at feeling much more sheltered. This was the kind of cold that drove people far passed their comfort zone,  molding them into someone they never thought they’d be. This was an unfamiliar kind of cold. The kind of biting cold that came after weeks filled with welcoming heat and winds entangled with silver linings of hope. 

His mind had drifted for a few minutes, and before he knew it, he was at her doorstep. He rang the doorbell and took a few steps back, impatiently looking around as he waited for her to answer. As soon as she’d opened the door and greeted him with that same smitten smile as she always did, he disregarded every single emotion he had left in him—not that there were many left to begin with—and began. 

“Katie,” he said, his voice as bitter as it could possibly sound, “I can’t do this anymore. And by this, I mean us. I don’t feel the same way as I did before and I just can’t care about our relationship anymore. I try to, I swear I do, but I just can’t. I just don’t care..” He paused for a moment, then looked down at the ground and shrugged, “I’m just not in love with you anymore.”

david-turner14:

kayceeguthrie:

david-turner14:

kayceeguthrie:

Fuck everything. I give up.

I’m tempted to sing some random Spice Girls song, but I feel as though that would not exactly be received well.

Yeah, probably not. Sorry, dude. Maybe some other time. 

Well, I hope everything’s alright. Or turns out alright. I don’t know. I’ll be here for you.

Thanks, Dave. 

david-turner14:

kayceeguthrie:

Fuck everything. I give up.

I’m tempted to sing some random Spice Girls song, but I feel as though that would not exactly be received well.

Yeah, probably not. Sorry, dude. Maybe some other time. 

Text to Katie. 

• KC: We need to talk.
• Katie: Of course. Do you want to come over or meet somewhere?
• KC: I couldn't give less of a fuck about where we meet.
• Katie: Alright. Hostile. Just come over.
• KC: I know I'm hostile. You'll get over it.